The Sea Inside

Life is the death of
A thousand dreams
And the birth of
A thousand and one

Everything so alive
And the sea inside
Me rages, a novel
Sense of naivety

I'll work all day
And night, sleeping
On the sofa in
The basement

I'll feel so happy
Just being in the
Vicinity of your
Divided attention

I'm just pathetic
But maybe we are
All this way
It's how we connect

Hugging a duvet
Pretending it's you
Looking at a couple
Pretending it's us

Otherwise

Blown leaves over grey pavement stones
Snow in March, so peculiar
Maybe it's just how life goes
Now

Music wafting over earphones
I know every word
I've known the song
For many years

Can I admit that I am energised
By these feelings
Of melancholy

The same toss and turn manoeuvre
Practise and honed
And bound with
Unpleasantness

The core of the problem is
I'm all alone

Despite wishing
Otherwise

I Guess

I guess, yes
I still guess
What life is truly like

What is it like
To fall in love
What is it like
To move away

TV and films
Teach me so much
TV and films
Make me incapable

I can't live as
Perfectly
As they do

So I can only guess
In this home
I can't leave

Nothing at Christmas

The shops are quieter than a year ago
Everyone is storing up in the bank
The Christmas lights do their best
But the mood doesn't fit

Such a shame to be from another world
This Christian holiday is nothing to me
But gifts I soon forget to value

School is out, the course is finished
I'd get a job just to feel alive
But they tell me no more help is needed
They are expecting a quiet year

All over we look forward to that drink
A chance to stop thinking
Where to go next year
All captured in a resolution

Waking up 2nd of January
Back to the same tasks
And another 12 months' waiting

So it's nothing for me this Christmas
I don't deserve much this Christmas
Waking up in the afternoon to TV
And the internet, so I can stay in

Computers

One day machines will rules us
So science fiction has said
I can only agree with them
As I type this up

From the supermarkets to the offices
From the children to the old men
Who are so eager to learn

Now everybody knows everything
About everybody else
No longer a need for the grapevine
When there are the bloggers

A tool, a lifestyle, a lover?
I don't know what I think of you
My Chinese manufactured computer

The Stars

The stars overlook me
And everyone else

To my eyes they are shining dots
I wish I could get closer and see
For myself they are anything but
Mere shining dots

What are we but simple fools
We can never understand you
What are you but consciousless
You can never even see us

So I live, never understanding you
And you exist, never seeing me

Regret

In the darkness of the night
I can't help but think of life
I've been trying with my might
But I can't get everything right

In the silence of this room
I'm still plagued by regret
Not my salvation or my doom
On small worries I am set

The Real World

Delayed trains
Forced smiles
Timetables that
Never give you any space

Failed attempts
To copulate
It just takes
Forever to know someone

No accolades
Without trying
No love
Without fighting

This is why
I prefer the world
In my head

End of Summer

End of summer Another year older Same old dreams Fill my head As the leaves yellow Fall on the meadow It seems like memories Are a refuge again How do I love autumn When it foretells impending Chill, long nights, coats That swallow girls' figures

Years

Feet on desk
Gazing at the mould
That languish
On wallpaper
That I thought was new
But I'm sure if I checked the dates
They would have been there years ago

Been there years ago
Lots of things fall into that
Category. I'm sure I had thought
That I was going nowhere
An outsider
Years ago

I've bemoaned
My lack of dominance
My dreamy apathy
My paranoia about the
Randomness of fortune
Years ago

I've seen
Those opportunities
Those glances that
Light me up briefly
Disappear
Years ago